Just Ask: (Memoirs of a Teenage Author)

(This is post #23 of the My Journey to Gritty: Memoirs of a Teenage Author series)
So any newcomers are aware, this post is a chapter in my story. To go back and read from the beginning of the narrative, click the "My Journey" link directly above.

Since Blackbeard and I had entered our relationship with the mindset of marriage as an end result, it was really natural for us to talk about moving to that next stage.

“So… when do you think your dad will be okay with me asking him for your hand?” Blackbeard asked me one evening.
I smiled a little. “I don’t know. Whenever, I guess.”
“Well, I want to the timing to be right. You’re his little girl and all.”
“I don’t think any time will be perfect, Blackbeard. You’re just gonna have to ask him.”
“Could you ask him what time would be right for me to come talk to him? Then tell me what he says?”
I sighed. “Fine… I’ll mention it to him.”
Later, after Blackbeard left, I went to Dad.
“Um… Blackbeard is wondering when a good time for him to come ask to marry me would be.”
Dad testily rolled his eyes to me. “Blackbeard’s going to have to just ask.” <--(mildly paraphrased)
I blushed and nodded.

I knew that Blackbeard had a plan on how to ask my dad and brothers for my hand. It involved spoons and flowers and a quote from one of his favorite dumb movies.
But when the next evening came and he asked me what Dad had said, plans went out the window.
“So… what did he say?”
I blushed at the memory, and stuttered in reply. “Uh… he said… you’re gonna have to grow some guts and ask him blindly.”
Blackbeard’s eyes narrowed. “He didn’t actually say guts, did he?”
I angelically smiled. “Um… no.”
Blackbeard abruptly stood up. “Fine.”
Then he stomped off towards the room where Dad was.

I nervously wandered around the living room, waiting for Blackbeard to come back. It didn’t take very long. Soon he came back into the room and plopped down onto the couch.
“Well?!” I demanded.
He tried to be serious, but a smile twinkled in his eye. Then he actually let his smile through to his face.
“I just can’t lie to you,” he admitted.
“So what did he say?!”
“He said I have satisfactory-”
“Ohh! Don't say that!"
“It’s embarrassing!”
Blackbeard laughed at me. I glared at him.
“Of course he said yes,” he told me.
“Oh, good.” I slumped into the couch, not surprised, but still relieved.

A couple mornings later, I woke up all in a rush. Blackbeard was coming! I knew he was!
I jumped to my feet and looked out a window. Sure enough, a big guy dressed in camo was tromping down the driveway. Apparently, he had spent the early morning hunting on our property.
I hurriedly got dressed, then ran to meet him at the front door.
“Did you get anything?” I cheerfully asked.
He smiled in reply. “Na… the woods were nice though.”
We stood there a moment. The rest of the house was asleep.
“Do you want to come to the kitchen? We can talk there until everyone wakes up,” I suggested.
He agreed.
Our following, hushed conversation in the kitchen was mostly about casual things. Blackbeard leaned his broad frame back against the counter and scooted down so that he wasn’t towering so high above me. I stood close to him and rested my head against his shoulder while we talked, enjoying the morning.
Everything couldn’t be perfect though.
“My friends say you’ll leave me,” Blackbeard quietly said.
I lifted my head off his shoulder. “What?!”
“I was telling someone about you and me, and they said that after we get married, when you’re older, you’ll get bored and leave me for a younger man.”
“That’s just… cruel!” I blustered. “That person doesn’t know me! They don’t have a right to say that!”
He looked away. “They say I have five years at the most.”
I shut my mouth and closely looked at him, then asked, “You don’t believe them… do you?”
“Oh no!” he assured me. “You’re too good a woman to just… leave somebody.”
He looked down at his feet. Silence hung heavy in the air.
“You’re worried that I’ll be unhappy and suffer silently though,” I quietly said.
He dismally shrugged. “You’re a great woman, Jessi. You could have your pick of any of the young men around you. What am I?”
“You’re who God gave to me. You’re special. I’m thankful for you,” I emphasized. "Besides, it's not as easy to be a girl as you think. Most guys my age won't touch me with a ten foot pole. I scare them..."
He sighed and obligingly nodded. We started talking about other random things.Silence soon overtook us again. Then I started feeling new and strange.
I felt drawn to Blackbeard in a weird way. It was as if he was a big magnet, pulling me along. He didn’t seem to feel the same way. He was lost in thought. But he quickly noticed me leaning towards him with a romantic look in my eyes.
His finger suddenly touched my lips, then he smiled. “Whoa, girl. None of that, remember?”
My face instantly heated up to a hot glow. I pulled back, embarrassed to the core.
“Right, right, sorry…”
He chuckled and hugged me. I rested my head on his chest and dismally sighed.
If only things could be simple. Blackbeard made it look easy, but this "only allowed to get so close" stuff was really hard for me...

Click here to read the next post in this series: Sugar On Top


  1. Have I mentioned that I'm just loving this series? It's so super fun to see into your story... and to see the little places where your story filtered into your books. :)

    1. I have no idea what you're talking about... <-- sarcastic laugh. :D

  2. I'm super curious about the spoons and the movie reference? :-) :-)
    Hi, I'm Brianna, btw. Saw your blog because of Tasha's FB activity.

    1. Hi, Brianna! I'm Jessiqua! *winkwink*
      The movie reference was Keven Costner's Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
      There's a part where the bad guy is saying that he wants to kill somebody in a really painful way, with a spoon, so that way it'll hurt worst.
      So... *sigh* Blackbeard thought that he'd give Dad and my brothers spoons while asking them for my hand. Then he was going to say that killing him with spoons would feel better than them telling him no. He thought it was romantic. Haha!

  3. Going back to read these posts again and realizing how similar my relationship with my husband is and those same discussions that happened as well.

    1. That's neat that you have similar understandings. They're important discussions to have!